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Sep. 11th, 2013 11:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
He's turning into Cobb. It's not a good thing. It's not acquiring the boundless creativity and subtlety of construction that the man strives for in dreams and extraction. It's not the ability to love something and fight for it so fully that onlookers can only wonder how he hasn't collapsed. No. It's none of that.
It's the shades in his mind and the doubting, darting glances that he's barely controlling. It's the questions, the roll of the loaded die and the increasing worry when it lands again, and again, on the same number. It's the assurance that he's part of reality now, even though this hotel can't be. The hotel is too strange and circuitous and maybe there are no closed loops or tricks of vision, but Arthur can't believe this is real. Real life doesn't just allow for the opening of the door to lead to an entirely new world.
Every single part of it is becoming a puzzle that he is increasingly more desperate to solve.
Soon. Too soon, Arthur thinks. Soon he's going to exactly like Cobb, sitting at the coffee table of a hotel room, watching his totem fall with a loaded pistol in hand. His totem will call the shot.
Today, Arthur hasn't gone that far, not yet thank God. He's gotten as far as a bar with a gold-brown glass of bourbon warming his insides and making all of this seem at least a tiny bit more possible.
It's the shades in his mind and the doubting, darting glances that he's barely controlling. It's the questions, the roll of the loaded die and the increasing worry when it lands again, and again, on the same number. It's the assurance that he's part of reality now, even though this hotel can't be. The hotel is too strange and circuitous and maybe there are no closed loops or tricks of vision, but Arthur can't believe this is real. Real life doesn't just allow for the opening of the door to lead to an entirely new world.
Every single part of it is becoming a puzzle that he is increasingly more desperate to solve.
Soon. Too soon, Arthur thinks. Soon he's going to exactly like Cobb, sitting at the coffee table of a hotel room, watching his totem fall with a loaded pistol in hand. His totem will call the shot.
Today, Arthur hasn't gone that far, not yet thank God. He's gotten as far as a bar with a gold-brown glass of bourbon warming his insides and making all of this seem at least a tiny bit more possible.