Katniss Everdeen (
burn_with_us) wrote in
all_inclusive2014-05-08 01:16 pm
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Today is her birthday. Birthdays aren't usually anything special in 12 and, if it's turning 12, it's usually something to dread. The only birthday Katniss has ever cared about was 19 and she's not there yet. Instead, she's turning 18 today and if nothing had ever changed, she would be lining up for the Reaping for her last time this year. She'd have so many names in the ball that she'd be bound to be picked but Katniss likes to think she'd be lucky. After all, she made it to sixteen without ever getting Reaped, didn't she?
It had been Prim who was Reaped that year, Prim who only had one name in the ball and had the best shot out of any kid in the Seam to never get Reaped. Prim, for whom Katniss had sacrificed everything.
On her birthday, Katniss always thinks of Prim. She thinks about how Prim always made it a point to give her something on her birthday even if she didn't have the resources that Katniss had. Somehow magically, there was good flint for starting fires or a little tinder box. Her boots got patched or there was good, pliable wood for new arrows. Prim always managed to make something out of nothing.
Today, so she doesn't think about Prim, Katniss decides to work. She's taking orders in the dining room, bussing tables, working back in the kitchen. Anything to keep her hands and mind busy so that homesickness doesn't threaten to eat her from the inside out. It's always been the mental things she's struggled with. She can deal with pain, hunger, death but she never, ever has been able to deal with thinking about just how much she misses her sister each and every day.
It had been Prim who was Reaped that year, Prim who only had one name in the ball and had the best shot out of any kid in the Seam to never get Reaped. Prim, for whom Katniss had sacrificed everything.
On her birthday, Katniss always thinks of Prim. She thinks about how Prim always made it a point to give her something on her birthday even if she didn't have the resources that Katniss had. Somehow magically, there was good flint for starting fires or a little tinder box. Her boots got patched or there was good, pliable wood for new arrows. Prim always managed to make something out of nothing.
Today, so she doesn't think about Prim, Katniss decides to work. She's taking orders in the dining room, bussing tables, working back in the kitchen. Anything to keep her hands and mind busy so that homesickness doesn't threaten to eat her from the inside out. It's always been the mental things she's struggled with. She can deal with pain, hunger, death but she never, ever has been able to deal with thinking about just how much she misses her sister each and every day.
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"I'm taking a calculated risk," he tells her with the same sort of teasing grin. He doesn't think she'd shoot him, even if he were trying to attack her, which he can't imagine ever doing. And no, he knows better than to sneak up on her, not that he could with his lack of grace.
"You'll have to tell me," he says with a smug look. He hopes it is, or rather, he hopes she likes her surprises.
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"So now you're going to have to live up to my high expectations."
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He chuckles, ducking his head then. "Well now I'm nervous, but still reasonably confident. How high are these expectations again?" he asks with a grin as he opens the door to the forest they'd found and gestures her through ahead of him.
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Katniss follows him through. "Oh, a good 90%. You can work with that, right?" It's strange how easily the smiles come now. Katniss hadn't had much to smile about back in 12 but now with Peeta, she's happier more days than she isn't. It's a good thing.
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It's his favorite thing about the hotel, the way Katniss smiles. Of course, he also likes that he gets to work with her every day. It's a wonderful thing.
Once they've reached the pond, Peeta gestures with an open hand to the water. "You go ahead, I'll just turn my back and get everything set up."
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Katniss has gotten comfortable enough with stripping down and sliding into the pond while Peeta's just behind her and she does so, sighing as the cool water bathes her skin up to her shoulders.
"All clear," she says, laughing lightly. "Just waiting on you now."
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"Coming in," he warns her so that if she hadn't had her back turned, he'd give her the chance to do so. He waits just a moment, then turns around and starts into the water.
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Katniss turns around and busies herself with the soap while she waits for Peeta to get deep enough in the water so she can't see anything above his shoulders.
"I really like this place. It makes me think of all the good things about 12 and none of the bad. When I'm here, I remember Prim and Rue and all the people we've left behind."
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"It's a beautiful spot," he responds. This isn't a side of 12 he'd ever gotten to experience. "Maybe one day, we'll get them all here."
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"Hope so," Katniss says softly. Since the last time they came through this door, she has been doing some thinking. Being with Peeta has always been, up until the hotel, something put on for the Capitol and for Snow. But now, here, being with Peeta is something she can choose for herself and there is no audience but the two of them. That makes pursuing something a lot more intriguing and makes whatever feelings she thought she had for Gale float away like leaves on the wind. She draws closer to him in the water, close enough that there are only a few inches of space between them.
"Is this the surprise or was there something else involved?"
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"This isn't the surprise, but so far it's the best part of my week."
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"You're pretty easy to please," Katniss says but where it might have been sarcastic before, it's sincere now. For some reason, the safety of the hotel makes her more open to being with him in ways she never had been back in 12 or in the Capitol.
"But that's okay. I'm pretty much content with blue skies and a nice, quiet place to relax. I don't need a lot of material things."
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"At least for today, those are things I can give you," he says as he reaches up to tuck some of her hair behind her ear.
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Katniss smiles a little. In a lot of ways, she's pretty far from innocent. She's seen people killed and has killed some of her own and she knows the twisted and manipulative ways that people can hurt one another. But in other ways, she's fairly sheltered and one of those ways is the interaction between men and women. Her cheeks color a little and it isn't feigned.
"I appreciate them. I appreciate everything you can give me, Peeta. Believe me on that."
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He nods at her words. "Okay," he answers, hesitating before he speaks again. "I want to give you everything," he says quietly. "I want you to have a wonderful, happy life. It's all I've ever wanted. I'm just not sure where to start."
He hesitates again, watching her. "Selfishly, I want that life to be with me, but regardless of whether it is or not, I want you to be happy."
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Katniss has never heard Peeta put it so plainly before, not without an unwilling audience of millions of viewers. This is heartfelt and not a ploy to get sympathy and it gives her a strange feeling in her chest, almost a twinge. It feels good but it's painful too and she doesn't know what to do with it.
"It...could be with you," she concedes. "I would be interested in seeing how that worked out? I don't know, Peeta, I'm not good at this. You know I'm not good at words, that's what you always did for me."
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"You don't have to be good at words," he tells her quietly. "Just tell me if I'm pushing too far, too fast. I don't want to push you away, but this is all new to me too." He gives her a crooked sort of grin. "I'm just sort of winging it," he whispers as he leans forward to kiss her gently.
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"It's okay right now," Katniss promises him, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him. Katniss has never really considered what life might be like without having to constantly worry about people. It feels selfish to do something that solely makes her feel good but kissing Peeta is something she's doing for her and nobody else.
She loves this little secret place of theirs and hopes that nobody else ever finds it.
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He really hopes for that as well.
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"That's just for my birthday, right?" Katniss has never really thought about having her hair washed in a context that doesn't involve being prepped for the Capitol and it makes her equal parts nervous and excited.
She turns around, tipping her head forward a little so Peeta can access the length of her hair. It's a little thinner now from the acid damage but she still has plenty to work with - she's always been blessed with a full head of hair.
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He cups his hands, letting water run over her hair from them, then puts shampoo in his hands, lathering it for a moment before he starts working the lather into her hair, massaging her scalp as he does. He loved Katniss' hair and he'd hated that it'd been burned a bit in the first Games and damaged by the acid in the second. However, here it would have a chance to recover.
"Let me know if I'm doing this wrong. I haven't actually ever shampooed someone else's hair."
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"Just don't pull it and I think we'll be fine," Katniss says. Actually, it feels nice to have his fingers in her hair and massaging her scalp. It's nice to have attention lavished on her that doesn't have some ulterior motive.
She tips her head back a little more and sighs.
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"I think it's okay to rinse now," he says quietly after a few moments.
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"Be right back, then," Katniss says, dipping beneath the water to rinse it out. That's much easier than trying to do it without submerging and while she loves all this attention from Peeta, it's also a little overwhelming and she needs a moment to process it all.
The cool, clear water does a pretty good job of washing away the soap and clearing her head. When she surfaces again, there are tiny droplets of water clinging to her eyelashes.
"Your turn now, right?"
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His eyebrows go up and for a moment, he has to think about her words. "Uhm...yeah. I guess...if you want." He looks a little sheepish. "I've never had my hair washed. Not since I was a little boy, I mean."
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