all_inclusive | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Today is her birthday. Birthdays aren't usually anything special in 12 and, if it's turning 12, it's usually something to dread. The only birthday Katniss has ever cared about was 19 and she's not there yet. Instead, she's turning 18 today and if nothing had ever changed, she would be lining up for the Reaping for her last time this year. She'd have so many names in the ball that she'd be bound to be picked but Katniss likes to think she'd be lucky. After all, she made it to sixteen without ever getting Reaped, didn't she?

It had been Prim who was Reaped that year, Prim who only had one name in the ball and had the best shot out of any kid in the Seam to never get Reaped. Prim, for whom Katniss had sacrificed everything.

On her birthday, Katniss always thinks of Prim. She thinks about how Prim always made it a point to give her something on her birthday even if she didn't have the resources that Katniss had. Somehow magically, there was good flint for starting fires or a little tinder box. Her boots got patched or there was good, pliable wood for new arrows. Prim always managed to make something out of nothing.

Today, so she doesn't think about Prim, Katniss decides to work. She's taking orders in the dining room, bussing tables, working back in the kitchen. Anything to keep her hands and mind busy so that homesickness doesn't threaten to eat her from the inside out. It's always been the mental things she's struggled with. She can deal with pain, hunger, death but she never, ever has been able to deal with thinking about just how much she misses her sister each and every day.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"I'd rather just stick with one." He blushes fairly pink when he says that simply because now he's thinking about taking a shower with Katniss because obviously he meant 'just one other person' as opposed to a one person shower.

He clears his throat and looks up at her, hair still soapy. Her words bring him back to a more serious place. He shakes his head at that. "No. I mean, yes. Me too. I don't want to share this place with anyone but you."

He holds up a finger in a 'one moment' sort of gestures and takes a step back so he can submerge himself under water, coming up once the soap has had a chance to clear his hair, slicking it back.

"Good. Just ours," Katniss says. She shifts to float on her back and looks up at the canopy of trees, watching as the sunlight dapples through the leaves.

"I hope it's always spring or summer in this door. I don't want winter when it's too cold to do this."

He nods in silent agreement. He can see far more of Katniss' body this way when she floats on her back and he tries not to stare.

"I'm not sure time passes in the doors. I haven't thought about it honestly."

His eyes slide over her body again then back to her eyes. "Can you teach me how to do that? How to float?"

At least it'd get his mind off their nakedness.

"Oh, sure. It's just a matter of spreading out your body weight evenly," Katniss says, showing him the way she had stretched out her arms and legs. "And you have to completely relax. Give it a try and if it doesn't work, I'll show you the way my dad showed me when I was younger."

It's with some trepidation that he tries to follow her lead. Unfortunately, for a boy who hasn't spent much time in the water relaxing completely is a bit difficult. He sinks under the water, coming up with his feet under him sputtering a little.

"Yeah, I think you're going to have to treat me like a little kid," he tells her sheepishly.

Katniss laughs and wades over. She spreads her arms out over the water.

"Let my arms support you? I'll teach you how to spread your weight."

He takes a deep breath. "Okay."

He gives it another shot, attempting to relax while his feet aren't on the ground. It is easier to relax when he knows Katniss is going to support his weight in the water, to keep him from going under.

Katniss spreads her hands beneath him to hold him up. "See how it feels? Now just imagine there's an invisible board holding you up the whole time, forcing you to be on top of the water."

He struggles a little, but after a few seconds he manages to do a half way decent job of floating. He's not sinking at least. A grin spreads across his face.

"Like this?"

"Just like that," Katniss says, laughing as she eases her hands from under him. She doesn't know how long it will take Peeta to notice he's doing it on his own but she isn't going to call attention to it.

"I kind of take for granted the fact that my father used to bring us through the hole in the fence. I don't think anyone else in 12 has ever had a chance to really swim, right?"

He's doing okay, a little to cautious to really relax, but managing it. However, when she asks her question, it's too much to hold a conversation and float at the same time. He sinks, but doesn't panic this time, doesn't flail, just puts his feet under himself before he goes under. He laughs at himself and slicks his hands back over his hair.

"Not as far as I know. I think you and Prim are the only ones. Most of 12 isn't brave enough to go through the fence." He gives her an admiring look.

"I'm brave enough to do anything that's necessary but I wouldn't necessarily think of myself as brave. More like...reckless and unwilling to bend to authority," Katniss says thoughtfully.

"I just like to fight."

He chuckles a little at that. "You never do see yourself the way others see you, but I'd agree with the bit about authority," he winks at her.

"Do you get bored here? With so much freedom and so little reason to fight."

"Not really," Katniss says. "I would much rather have peace and freedom than get a chance to bash someone's brains in. As much as I like to fight, I like peace even more than that."

He nods a little at that. "That sounds like the girl I know instead of the girl on fire that everyone else knows."

And he likes that, that he knows a different Katniss than the rest of the world does.

Katniss snorts. "Don't tell anyone. They'll think I'm a pushover, Peeta, and we can't let that happen." It's mostly teasing but she has a real point about not wanting her soft side exposed. If this is a trick by the Capitol, it's a weakness that could be easily exploited.

He's still grinning when he speaks, but his voice is more serious. "Your secrets are always safe with me, Katniss."

He reaches out to run his thumb across the water slick skin of her shoulder, biting his bottom lip slightly as he does. The idea of being allowed to initiate a touch like this with her is still new enough that he's a little hesitant and still very much in awe with it.

"Good. I'll keep your secrets too," she promises. Indulging Peeta is something new for her and she likes the way it feels with him with it's just them alone.

"This is a pretty good secret, I think."

"I know you will." Though, he doesn't have many secrets left and those that he does, he's not sure even Katniss knows. In a surprising turn of events, if Peeta could make it always be just them, he would. He smiles at that, nodding.

"It's the best secret I've ever had." Which would have formerly gone to the 'I'm in love with the girl on fire', but since this involved actually getting to be with the girl on fire, it trumps that one.

"Peeta, could you just..." Katniss reaches for him and kisses him in one fluid movement. She has always been brash and bold except when it comes to relationships and she thinks it's time that she tried to seize some happiness in this area of her life too.

She never ceases to surprise him. This time, she takes his breath away for a moment because it's so unexpected and because it's so very welcomed and wanted. After a moment's shock, he returns the kiss, hands reaching out so he can twine his fingers in her wet hair, holding her close even after the kiss breaks.

"Just for clarification's sake," he tells her with a big grin. "You can do that any time you want."

"Glad to know I've got permission," Katniss says, grinning at him. She has never really asked for permission for much of anything. She's been in charge of her own destiny for so long that it's a little foreign and funny to seek permission for kissing Peeta.

"Can we kiss again?"

"Hey, you could have done it without permission as well. I wouldn't have argued," he teases her. Honestly, he'd just been searching for a way to let her know that he wanted to do the kissing thing more often.

"Absolutely. Anytime. Anywhere," he tells her, taking the initiative this time as he reaches out to put a hand at the back of her neck and pull her closer. The kiss starts out gentle, but grows deeper quickly.

Katniss doesn't think she's ever going to get tired of this. She loves the freedom she has when she and Peeta are alone and there's something about being in his arms and with him that makes her feel like she can let go of all her stress and worry and just float for a while.

Katniss kisses him deeper than she ever has before, less shy about this, and slides her arms around his waist as she presses herself closer.

They haven't ever been able to spend much time alone without cameras and people watching. It is liberating. It feels like that night on the rooftop, like he and Katniss are the only two people in the entire world. If it could stay like this forever, he's fairly certain he wouldn't want to ever see another person again.

There's a part of him that knows this is the furtherest they've ever gone, that this kiss is different from all of the other kisses, but right now all he can think about is this kiss, the way she feels in his arms, the way she feels pressed against him. He trails his fingers down her arm, beneath the water, keeping it chaste because he doesn't want to push Katniss too far. Despite that, he's almost breathless with the want that this kiss is building in him.