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In the interest of full disclosure, I haven't actually done much to assimilate into the Nexus. My sister loved it here and loved everything about being in the hotel but I didn't trust things I didn't understand and I had just gone from one crazy bottleneck to another without being able to see my family in between. It was disorienting and confusing and I spent most of my time trying to figure out a way to get back to the caves and back to my brother.

I wasn't successful.

I had read somewhere once that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same result and now, finally, after two months of trying and trying to get back home I was finally giving up. Done. That was it. I was just going to embrace my new screwy life in the hotel and just enjoy the fact that I did have Wanderer and Nick even if I couldn't get back to Jamie and the others. I just wished I could open the door once, just long enough to shepherd my family and friends into safety before closing it again permanently. It wasn't meant to be.

With my newfound lease on life, I decided it was high time I finally got a job. I had been subsisting on the buffet and trying my best to make everything I had last as long as possible but now I wanted to work. I wanted something I could put my hands on, something to help me work out the stress and frustrations of the day. I tried my hand at waiting tables but it turned out that I was terrible at it. I don't really have a memory for orders and working quickly didn't come easily to me. After throwing my tray down and storming out, I wound up joining the maintenance and grounds crew. That was something I was good at. I liked fixing things and I had a decent knowledge of minor repairs after so long on the run. I could hack that.

That was what found me outside just before dawn started pinking the sky, laying mulch in one of the many gardens at the Nexus. It was easier to do this before the sun got high in the sky and it was hot and I wanted to take advantage of it.

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After checking the herbs I had drying in my room, and dropping the ones that were finished at the clinic, I took my basket out to the gardens intent on seeing if there was any fresh basil ready for the kitchen.

I smiled when I saw Mel already at work.

"You're up early," I said, greeting her.

"It's too hot to do this when the sun's up," I tossed back, lifting a heavy bag of mulch and groaning with the effort. Even if it was before it got hot, it was still hard work.

"See, I put all the labor in and you make it pretty. That's why we're a team."

"And we make a pretty good one," I responded with a smile, dropping down onto the dirt near my herb garden. I worked in silence for a few minutes before looking up at my sister. "Still no luck with the doors?"

"None at all," I said. I stopped for a moment to catch my breath and while I thought about what I wanted to say, the only sound was my labored breathing. I had gotten soft on the island, it seemed.

"They seem to work for everyone else. Your vampire came back," I said, huffing a little. That wasn't fair to me, at all, but it was fact.

I couldn't stop the smile that formed on my lips, thinking of Eric. "Yes, he did. I was so surprised to see him at my door after giving him up for the disappeared." I looked up at Mel, a little sheepish. "I'm sorry for how I was while I thought he had; I know I wasn't very much fun to be around."

"Yeah, well, your unpleasant is the equivalent of my pleasant, so no hard feelings. Still, if he can come back and forth then why can't I go home for a little while?"

I just wanted to go home long enough to get Jamie and bring him back. The others could thrive back in my world but I wanted my brother, even if it was selfish of me.

"I know," I said softly because for all my relative happiness here, I worried, too. "I had hoped you'd be able to find him as well. Find him and bring him here where he'd be safe."

Neither of us mentioned the others we'd left in the cave by unspoken agreement. Jamie was different. He was so young, and so vulnerable there.

If Jamie could come through to the Nexus, most of my worries would be gone. I knew that Jared and the others could take care of themselves and had been, really, for longer than I even knew them. Jamie was different. Jamie needed me and, to some extent, needed Wanderer and I wanted him here.

"I guess dwelling on it is just going to piss me off, isn't it?"

"Probably," I laughed and looked up at her. "It's not all that bad here, though, right? I mean, you and Nick seem very happy to be reunited."

"Well, yeah," I said, laughing a little to shrug off how shy I got about that kind of thing. "But I don't remember him being gone so I guess it wasn't really a reunion for me. More of a continuance in a new place."

I hated that Nick had to suffer with me being gone, though, and I tried to make up for it as much as I could.

"Even so, it's a wonderful feeling, and it shows. He's much happier than he was when I first got here and I can't help thinking it's because you're here now, too. So that's a plus of sorts, isn't it?"

I couldn't help it. I was happy here, happy to have my sister here, to have Eric back, and I wanted her to be happy as well.

"Well, yeah. I'm not saying no," I said, grinning a little. Truthfully, it was a little overwhelming for Nick to be that happy to see me but that was better than finding out I had been replaced, that was for sure.

"Too bad Ian hasn't shown up yet. That would be nice."

I kept the smile on my face, but my eyes slid down to the herbs I was gathering. I tried very hard to not think about Ian, something that had come much easier here without the constant Luke reminder showing up every now and again.

"Yes. I think he would like it here," I said non-commitally.

"That's pretty nonchalant." Wanderer had been in my head before and I knew how she felt about Ian. This wasn't exactly the reaction I was expecting out of her but, then again, maybe she was just trying to keep from getting herself hurt by constantly thinking about what she couldn't have. It made sense. I had to do the same thing, more or less, and it had been difficult at first.