Katniss Everdeen (
burn_with_us) wrote in
all_inclusive2014-05-08 01:16 pm
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Today is her birthday. Birthdays aren't usually anything special in 12 and, if it's turning 12, it's usually something to dread. The only birthday Katniss has ever cared about was 19 and she's not there yet. Instead, she's turning 18 today and if nothing had ever changed, she would be lining up for the Reaping for her last time this year. She'd have so many names in the ball that she'd be bound to be picked but Katniss likes to think she'd be lucky. After all, she made it to sixteen without ever getting Reaped, didn't she?
It had been Prim who was Reaped that year, Prim who only had one name in the ball and had the best shot out of any kid in the Seam to never get Reaped. Prim, for whom Katniss had sacrificed everything.
On her birthday, Katniss always thinks of Prim. She thinks about how Prim always made it a point to give her something on her birthday even if she didn't have the resources that Katniss had. Somehow magically, there was good flint for starting fires or a little tinder box. Her boots got patched or there was good, pliable wood for new arrows. Prim always managed to make something out of nothing.
Today, so she doesn't think about Prim, Katniss decides to work. She's taking orders in the dining room, bussing tables, working back in the kitchen. Anything to keep her hands and mind busy so that homesickness doesn't threaten to eat her from the inside out. It's always been the mental things she's struggled with. She can deal with pain, hunger, death but she never, ever has been able to deal with thinking about just how much she misses her sister each and every day.
It had been Prim who was Reaped that year, Prim who only had one name in the ball and had the best shot out of any kid in the Seam to never get Reaped. Prim, for whom Katniss had sacrificed everything.
On her birthday, Katniss always thinks of Prim. She thinks about how Prim always made it a point to give her something on her birthday even if she didn't have the resources that Katniss had. Somehow magically, there was good flint for starting fires or a little tinder box. Her boots got patched or there was good, pliable wood for new arrows. Prim always managed to make something out of nothing.
Today, so she doesn't think about Prim, Katniss decides to work. She's taking orders in the dining room, bussing tables, working back in the kitchen. Anything to keep her hands and mind busy so that homesickness doesn't threaten to eat her from the inside out. It's always been the mental things she's struggled with. She can deal with pain, hunger, death but she never, ever has been able to deal with thinking about just how much she misses her sister each and every day.
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"And here they can only barely make me look like a girl and I was born one."
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"You're more than pretty enough," Johanna says, dismissing any of Katniss' concerns, rarely ever falling prey for that scheme in which people get compliments when they're feeling down. Her own ego makes it next to impossible to ever experience something similar, so she doesn't do it for others. "Maybe you can trick him back through the door and get a good look, yourself."
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"I'll get Peeta to help me. I'm sure he would want to see that," Katniss says, thinking of the look on Peeta's face if faced with a beautiful, feminine Finnick. "It'll be better than looking at dough, dough and more dough. I don't know how he spends all day in the kitchen. I couldn't do it. I have to get out here and wait tables for a little while if I'm going to stand it for any stretch of time."
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"Maybe he's hiding from something," Johanna suggests, given that their little escape into luxury paradise must weigh on people differently and sure, she's soaking it up like she deserves every single second of it, she can't imagine Katniss and Peeta would be the same.
Case in point, Katniss working here, like this. "It happened to me, too," she admits with a lazy twist of her fingers. "And before you ask, I made a gorgeous man."
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Katniss has no idea what she would look like as a man but she imagines it wouldn't be pretty. "How long did it last for you?"
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Johanna primps and teases at her hair, as if she needs to acknowledge that kind of compliment with the preening that she knows so well. "I think Finnick about had a heart attack when I turned up at the door, knocking like he owed me money," she admits with a strangled little laugh of delight. "It lasted for three or four days. One day, I was a man, the next thing I know I'm back to myself and drowning in guy's clothes."
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"What did Annie think about all this? She didn't get...upset, did she?"
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"I don't know," she says bluntly. "For Finnick's sake, I try not to get involved in that part of his life. I think it's kinder, to let him separate them. I'm a reminder of the Games, the Capitol, the mentor gig."
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"Yeah, I guess. I just don't want her to be by herself," Katniss says. She worries about Annie but she guesses that Finnick knows how best to take care of her and how best to make sure she acclimates and there's little Katniss could do to help.
"Has anyone else from home shown up?"
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"Effie showed up wondering whether or not I was late for the Arena. As if they'd let me be late and miss the Arena," Katniss scoffs. "But other than that, nobody. I...didn't tell Effie you were here."
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"She's just...she's like a brightly colored bird or something."
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"Well, Peeta anyway."
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"Yeah. Not quite as bad," Katniss concedes, "But she sure tries to make up for the lack of Capitol Couture around here. It's kind of frightening. Me personally, I'm glad nobody's trying to eliminate every scrap of my body hair."
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"We've got other concerns. You know, like feeding our families and not getting blown to smithereens," Katniss deadpans back. "Somehow having a little extra body hair isn't that big a deal. Besides, the winters are cold."
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Katniss is always so passionate and determined and, frankly, Johanna enjoys poking at her to see if she'll break. It's a happy thing, being able to test and test to that degree. "You don't need to worry about that anymore," she points out. "You're in the lap of luxury, now."
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Katniss doesn't think she'll ever truly relax anymore, not since the Arena. Maybe she did every once in a while when she thought she would never have to go back in but the Quarter Quell dispelled that particular illusion.
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"Yeah. I'm just as dangerous now as I would be then. Probably more dangerous, I actually have enough to eat here and I'm not stressed about going back into the Arena," Katniss says. A full belly is a dangerous weapon and a reason that the Careers almost always do better than tributes from other districts.
"Nobody else I've met seems to know about the Games, though. Why do you think that is?"
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"Luck?" Johanna suggests deadly serious, given that she doesn't exactly think that other people should be so lucky to avoid it, but they're also lucky to have never seen a thing like the Games in their life. "Who knows? Maybe it's just not their turn yet? Maybe Panem is in their future?"
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"Maybe there's safe havens beyond all the doors."