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The problem with being a vampire, Bella thought as she surveyed the two uprooted trees and pile of kindling at her feet, was that there wasn't ever a break. Maybe the pent up anger, frustration and sadness wouldn't have been as intense if she could have just slept. Just a few hours away from it to reboot or reset herself.

She remembered Carlisle telling her once that vampires felt things more completely, that just as their vision and hearing and speed were enhanced, their emotions were, too. Considering the state she was in now, even days after meeting Adrian, she was pretty sure she knew why. There was no relief from it, just day after day, night after night of dwelling on it.

Today she'd decided to go to her forest, to run, to hunt. To see if she could find something to distract her expanded mind, to get away from seeing that face across the hotel and experiencing the same dashed hope that this time it wasn't someone else.

The run had helped a little, pummeling a few trees to kindling had, too.

But even now as she walked back to her room with twigs in her hair, she knew it probably wouldn't last.

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Bella stopped and turned to face the blonde. Buffy, she remembered, and found a half-smile remembering the puns they'd traded the day they'd met.

"Yes, I'm fine," she answered, sounding a like she really wasn't. "How are you settling in?"

Bella had made that a day a lot easier on Buffy. She was grateful to her for that.

It was obvious that Bella wasn't okay, but sometimes 'I'm fine' was the only thing that held a person together so she'd let Bella have that. She shrugged at Bella's question. "I'm okay. My sister is here and I'm figuring the doors out, figuring out how this place works. I still haven't found a door home, but that might be a good thing."

"I'm glad you've got family here," Bella said and really worked to keep the bitterness out of her voice. "It's got to be nice to have some sort of anchor to life back home. I've stopped looking for doors back to Forks," she admitted.

And that was what had brought about her sudden dive into forestry - she was here alone, she wasn't going back, and her life in Forks was over. Once she accepted that, she demolished a few trees and decided to move on to making the best of this one.

Buffy nodded. For the most part, Bella seemed to keep the bitterness out of her voice. It didn't raise any red flags for Buffy. At the same time, she knew that Bella was here alone. "It doesn't suck," she admitted. "I've been working really hard on making friends here too so..." And she had made a couple the last few months. Once upon a time she'd been the popular girl in school, but that had changed when she'd become a slayer and now, Buffy sometimes had a hard time making actual friends. She could chat someone up all day, but real friendships took more effort.

It would serve Bella better in the long run. Buffy had spent years wishing for a life that was more normal. It was only after she'd accepted that slayerdom was her life that she'd begun to be really happy.

"I've made some too," Bella smiled, thinking of Eric and of Adam. "it really does make all the difference, doesn't it? So much better than holing up and hoarding all the misery. With friends, you can spread it around a little."

She gave a harsh little laugh, then shrugged. "The good part is, when they're friends they don't mind it so much."

"I'm pretty sure that's what friendship is about, spreading the misery like peanut butter. Then it sticks to the roof of everyone's mouth and they can commiserate which somehow makes it better."

She nodded a little at the assessment. "Besides, they help you make some good memories and that makes the misery a little better too."

"And now I'm craving human food for the first time since I was changed, so thanks for that," Bella laughed. "That they do; they also don't blink twice when you turn two trees into kindling with your bare hands. Always a bonus."

Buffy grinned. "I do what I can." She pursed her lips, considering something for a moment. "I used to have a friend back home who mixed cereal in his blood. You could always try a peanut butter blood smoothie." She couldn't help the face that she made when she suggested.

"And, that could come in handy. Firewood without the lumberjack."

"Different kind of vampire," Bella smiled back, "I mean, I could probably try, but odds are I'd just have to throw it back up again later and the craving isn't that bad. Not to mention I have to agree with the face you just made. Sounds disgusting to me, too."

She thought of the pile of wood she left behind. "Nice to know I've got a marketable skill?"

Buffy pulled another face at the idea of throwing it up. Yeah, never appealing.

She chuckled at that and shrugged. "If the heat in this place goes out, you'll be the girl most sought after."