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the moon was bright

She had found a door, finally, which made her heart sing, her blood stir in her veins. However high the ceilings may be in her room, however expansive the hotel grounds, they were still too contained, small. She was used to endless horizons and unknown territory, and the hotel was somewhat suffocating in that regard.

But this, here. A small door that she had seemed to just notice (or had it appeared once her longing became strong enough?) down the hall from her quarters, which she had to duck slightly in order to walk through. It had been carved from apple wood, with designs of flowers and fruit curling around the door handle. Once through, aware of the fickle nature of the Nexus, she had propped the door open with a large rock.

She had appeared out of the side of a rocky hillside, a natural formation which in her own land would have been used as some sort of watchtower or signal top. All around Tauriel was spring. Flowers were beginning to grow through the damp grass, and the air smelt fresh and warm. After a few trips through the door Tauriel felt comfortable enough to visit it often, with only her daggers and no other weapon.

This time, it was night. She found a spot on the boulders she could comfortably half sit, half lay upon, and she looked up at a glowing profusion of stars she did not recognize. She ached at their familiarity all the same, though; them and the heavy moon hanging low in the sky. There was more than enough starlight and moonlight to see by and, humming a soft melody to herself, she began to slowly braid her hair.

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While it could hardly be said that Crowley was one of those nature types, he supposed he did have a sort of wary appreciation for it, as he tended to hold for all forms of life these days. Of course, he preferred the comfort of gadgets and his nice flat, but he’d been away from the latter for quite some time now, and the first had evolved beyond his own remedial understanding in this new place that he found himself, decades into the future as he knew it. It left him feeling unmoored sometimes, but Crowley wasn’t anything if not adaptable, and he seemed to be rubbing along in this new place well enough with zero contact from the dark overlord.

Crowley was adaptable, and also exceedingly susceptible to boredom, turns out, as when he happened upon a door to a nice, scenic little overlook where there were stars and a moon when, upon having just left the hotel’s gardens there had been enough sunlight to make him grateful for his trademark sunglasses, he checked the sturdiness of the rock holding the door open with the toe of his boot before heading out.

There was a creature of some sort laying out on one of the rocks, he realized, understanding instinctively that she was not human but not knowing just what she was. He thought her ears were a rather nice touch, though, and all that hair had to be unwieldy and hard on her neck and shoulders, but that was hardly any of his business.

“’ello, there,” Crowley said as he came to a stop nearby and craned his head to look up at the sky. The heavens seemed strangely accessible from that vantage point, and it left him feeling strangely vulnerable, but not at all homesick. “Lovely night, isn’t it?”

Tauriel knew she was not alone; whoever it was, their footwear certainly wasn't built for creeping about in the darkness. Though, there was something about the newcomer that suggested that even if his footwear wasn't useful to that pastime, the rest of him was.

She turned her head, but only slightly, so that she did not ruin her braid. She was wary, but only to the minimum, for this person had come through the Nexus, and she had yet to find danger there so far (much, she sometimes felt, to her chagrin). "It is," she said, with a smile.

The timbre in the man's voice was familiar; so, too, were the curves of his face. It was somewhat dark, but Tauriel had keen eyes - the real issue was the set of dark lenses currently covering his eyes. Very quickly, her smile turned into a thoughtful frown.

"You..." she began, then trailed off. It was... not Bard. Was it Bard?

Crowley sometimes drew looks for some reason or another, and he thought that perhaps the lady's smile had drifted more toward a look of curiosity because he still wore his sunglasses in the starlight. He took a step closer to her as though he thought an invitation to do so would be the next words from her lips, and casually tucked his hands in his pockets.

"Me?" He said, wondering if she'd just implied he was also as lovely as the night, or if he was simply misunderstanding things. Of course if she had, well, he was wearing a new jacket and Crowley always took pride in being well turned out, if nothing else. "Have I got some barbecue sauce on my face or some such?"

It was amazing how much a change in clothing and behaviour could completely alter the way somebody looked. He had the same cheekbones, the same chin, but the hair was cropped and his face was smooth and beardless, like an elf's. Never mind he was wearing the sort of clothes she had seen on many men around the hotel who presumably had a lot of personal riches, rather than the somewhat haggard bargeman's coat. The lenses, too, were strange, altering him further.

"You look like someone I know... knew," she said. Knew because she had not seen Bard since the battle had finished. She had not been back since she had fled the mountainside. "I have not seen him in some time."

Fili had not been able to find Kili in some time. Knowing now, what he does, of his brother's death back home and his own, he knows that returning there is not an option, for he will not find his brother there. Only in the Halls of Mandos in the afterlife that awaits will they meet again. His heart aches for such knowledge, but he knows he cannot simply stop.

He had been following her, wishing to speak to Tauriel. After all, if anyone else would know of whether Kili had been seen, she would know. He followed her through the door carefully, disturbing a stone or two to give her the warning that he was approaching, smiling sadly for the movement of her hands.

"You must allow me to help," Fili insisted. "I'm quite the expert."

Tauriel noticed - and appreciated - the way he kicked up some noise to forewarn her of his approach. She did not enjoy being crept up on. And while many of her kind would not take seriously the stealth of dwarves, she supposed now she would not be surprised if it turned out they could be just as stealthy as an elf, if they wished. The world was not as it seemed anymore, and she had to appreciate that, for she was to experience it until it ran its course.

"Master Fili," she greeted, wondering if that was the correct way to address him. He was technically royalty, was he not, as well as being a former prisoner and the brother of Kili? Yes, the world really was different now. She hoped he would let her know, before she accidentally offended him.

She lowered her hands, surprised at the offer. She had to admit, she was very, very curious; did dwarves braid differently than elves, or were the techniques the same? These were things she would have wished to discuss with Kili once she got over her awkwardness, but she had yet to see him again. "I believe you," she said, with a rogueish smile. "But are they skills you are allowed to waste upon a paltry elf?"

He bowed his head to her in respectful deference to her greeting, pleased that she's offered him such respect. "I am not my uncle," Fili assured her, for though Thorin had a reputation and a prejudice against elves, it was not one that he shared. After all, he knew that had he lived to inherit the throne and become King, he would have been different. He would have wanted to make a deal with the various races of Middle Earth.

"Please, sit," he coaxed. "And you can tell me what you wish from my craft hands. If you would permit a dwarf to touch your elvish locks."

The presence of Fili did call into question all that Tauriel knew and expected. Was there a world out there, a timeline, where the line of Durin did not fall, and the king under the mountain came into his own once again? She wondered what such a world would be like, but also that she, here, had no place in it.

"These elvish locks aren't so precious as you suggest," she said, with a small laugh. She moved to make room for him on the rocks. "Though I must ask, will I end up with as many beads and decorations as you? I daresay my people do not seem to pull them off quite so well as yours, and I fear turning that thought into truth."

"I don't have that many to spare upon me," Fili admitted, because he had lost most of his beadings and decoration on their journey and had only the little he had left in his hair. "I believe some may litter the prisons of Mirkwood," he noted, but only to gently tease rather than to accuse.

He was free now and should bear no ill will, if they were both willing to look past. "Sit," he gestured to the ground. "And I will begin."

"We might have given you a good hard shake and sent a few flying," Tauriel teased back. "Alas. We shall have to find replacements one of these days."

She sat. She desperately wanted to ask him about his brother, but she did not know how. She was still awkward in that regard; it was much easier to talk to Fili, she discovered. With him, Tauriel felt none of the pressure that made her heart race and her brain question everything she said or did. Kili, it turned out, turned her composure into a disaster.

"I believe that to be a mere danger of being such a guard," he remarked calmly, as his hands worked steadily. He had learned as a young dwarrow to be humble and hard-working, always expected to be the obedient and responsible nephew in line for the throne. It left him thoughtful and patient. "I must ask you a question and I hope you do not find it forward," he said, awaiting her permission.

While it wasn't rare for someone else to be braiding her hair, it was unusual; Tauriel was used to doing most things on her own. Fili's hands seemed deft and competent, though, and she did not feel a single snag or pull as he worked through her hair. It was actually somewhat relaxing.

She did not really need to think over her answer, but she did give pause, for the purpose of at least showing she was not answering recklessly. "Ask me whatever you like, Master Dwarf," she said, politely. "I like to think of us as friends, if you do not find it too forward, yourself."

He knew it would be forward because it presumed much about her relationship with his brother and it was something he was not sure he knew how to probe. "Of late, Kili has been somewhat absent. In fact, I think this is the longest we've been apart and while I know his spirit longs for adventure, I would hope that he would return by now. I had hoped, perhaps, that you had seen him in the last few days whether here in a world or at the Nexus."

Tauriel turned her head aside, for a moment, in response. Her lips tightened, but after a moment, she was forced to shake her head slightly. "I am sorry," she said, in a voice that reflected not only her own feelings, but her sympathies over how Fili must be feeling as well. "I have not seen him. In fact, I had hoped you had."

He allowed her the turn and loosened his grip on her hair, all too aware of the yank and pull and pain it gave to do otherwise. "No," he said quietly. "It is the first time in so long that we are separated and I find myself not knowing what to do with myself. I cannot return to Middle Earth to seek him. I had hoped to ask if you would. Perhaps, somehow, he has found his way home," he said, though there was little hope in his words.

Tauriel was silent. To return could be dangerous but, moreso, it could be painful. But then again, was it not tenfold for Fili? Did she not owe it to him and her own sense of security to do as he asked?

But of course, there were things to consider. Matters she had to handle delicately. The line of Durin had fallen back home, and she was unaccustomed to discussing someone's death with them - especially if she wasn't sure whether they were aware of it or not. "Are you..." she stopped, then tried again. "I stay within this place because I cannot yet face the world through my own door. To search there for Kili would be folly. I would be glad to seek him out, but we must find another door."

"There is no door I would be given that would lead back to that world," Fili said, a dark look overcast upon his face as he spoke about the things that waited for him there, because there was only his death. He did not have a life to return to, but Tauriel did. Then, perhaps it would be folly.

In truth, what he really sought were the Halls of Mandos, but that bore a finality that Fili was not sure he was ready to accept. "There is the other elf. What of him? Could he not go?"

"Perhaps there is another door we could find, here? One which Kili might have entered," Tauriel suggested. "And... I do not know about Legolas. I think his door may be even more far removed than ours. But I shall ask him."

Fili granted a nod of deferred respect for her offers of help. He wished to remain positive, but Thorin had taught him reality and pragmatism, growing up. If he was to be a king one day, he would need to be good to accept things for what they were and he had a bad feeling about all of this. "He would probably get lost exploring and forget to find his way back," he said, trying to play at being dumb and hopeful, for once.

Tauriel allowed a small smile to reach her lips. "Haven't we all done that, in some way?" she asked. Being at the Nexus was a way for Tauriel to get lost - willingly, but lost nonetheless. The further removed she was from home, the harder it was to feel heartache.

Something made her want to console Fili, though. Perhaps because, young as she was, loss was something the elves knew well, immortal as they were. "When I was much younger, I used to wander up into the trees," she said. "Climb to the tallest branches until the ground was just a dream below. I do not know your brother as well as I would like, but I would not put it past him to wander in such a regard to sate a curious longing. But eventually he will remember the ground below, and come back."

"I only hope he remembers me," Fili admitted quietly, for it was a lonely life that spanned out before him to think of the Nexus without Kili. He had not been without his brother since before he was born and it ached now to have that hole in his life in a way that he cannot quite understand or cope with, yet. "Everything here has been wrong without him. I do not know how to move forward."

"If there is one thing this place gives us, it is the time to make decisions in our own time," Tauriel replied. That was why she was there, of course; hiding, yes, but also thinking. She knew it was odd to be immortal and worried about the passage of time, but it was the world around her - its eventual death and decay - that upset her.

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