come on in and save me; come on

[makestheplans]

As soon as Katniss is sedated, I vanish. I kept it together in front of her, but once she's passed out I can feel myself start to crack. Heavensbee's looking at me; Prim's looking at me; I have to get out.

There's no booze in Thirteen, that's what they say. Coin's rules— but where there's a will, there's a way, and right now I need it so bad I don't care if I have to tear the entire place apart to find it. The kitchen's too obvious— but I know where there are storage closets, caches of supplies. An easy place to hide a bottle, if you had one you wanted to hide.

I push through door after door, barely hearing the noise of them banging shut behind me. The echoes are too loud in my head— Peeta screaming, hoarse and ragged with his hands wrapped around Katniss's throat; her sobs, desperate gulping gasps that only quieted when they put the IV in her arm. My own breath comes loud and sharp; my vision greys, my brain full of static, and I stagger, bracing myself against the wall with a trembling hand. The only thing that'll silence the noise is a drink. I shake my head to clear it, focusing on the door ahead.

I'm so focused on navigating I barely notice when the concrete beneath my feet changes to carpet. When the watery fluorescent light turns brighter, warmer, on the back of my neck. It's not til someone calls out behind me that I turn and realize, panic stabbing sharp in my side— I'm not where I was.

I plaster on a smile, hoping it'll hide the way I'm grinding my teeth. "Think I'm a little lost."

[Find him already in the bar or wandering the halls looking for it.]

Comments

[makestheplans]

The girl looks familiar, but that doesn't mean I've actually met her. She looks well-fed and like she's showered recently, which does mean she's definitely not from Thirteen. Did I black out and end up somewhere else? The kid's looking at me; he's cute. Something twists in my stomach, looking at him; I think I might be about to throw up.

"If you say so," I say, shrugging. It comes out more churlish than I meant, but I've got needs, and right now chatting with her isn't one of them. "Any idea where a man can get a drink around here?"

I push past her as I ask, hoping she'll just shout some directions at me and let me go, but I catch her profile in the corner of my eye and stop short, turning back. My eyes narrow. "Annie," I say. It's not a question; I'm certain it's her, though I've never seen her looking this good, this... alive.

The question I do have suddenly becomes more important than finding a bottle to crawl into. "Where the hell am I?"

[themadgirl]

Why Haymitch having forgotten the Nexus surprised her, Annie couldn't have said. The way the place played so easily with time, it made a certain kind of sense. She'd gotten too complacent, maybe, her life now something wondrously settled and surprisingly uneventful.

"Not in Panem," Annie answered first, because that was always the most salient point, wasn't it? "This is a sort of way station," she added, because they didn't exactly have hotels where they came from. "You're safe here, although I know that's probably hard to believe. Katniss is here, and Finnick, Johanna, and Effie, and—"

Stopping herself, she forced a small smile. "And me," she finished. It was possible that Peeta wasn't truly gone for good, but she couldn't escape the deep-down feeling that he wouldn't be back anytime soon.

[makestheplans]

It's hard to register much beyond not in Panem, my mind hooked on that like a fish on a line. "Not in Panem?" I repeat stupidly. It doesn't make any sense. I want to argue there's nothing outside of Panem, even though I've argued just the opposite in the past. There's got to be something else out there, someplace that's safe, but—

"Where is it, then?" Safe— she'd said that I was safe. I'll believe that when I see it. Nevermind that I don't even know what it would look like. I take a breath; it comes out shaky. "And how'd I get here without knowing it?"

[themadgirl]

"An alternate dimension," Annie answered with a slight wince, knowing that while it might have been factually accurate, it wasn't exactly easy to believe. Unfortunately, she didn't know of any better way to put it that wasn't a lie.

"Out in space, apparently. You'll see if you walk outside. And I don't know how you got here. I don't think anyone does. Just be careful going through doors, because it can happen again, and you'll be back in Panem without intending to be."

Annie hesitated a moment, and then added, "I know this sounds crazy."

[makestheplans]

I understand her words, but they don't make sense. Alternate dimensions, lost in space— it's like she's speaking a different language. Like when I'm drunk (even though right now I know I'm not) nothing's getting through.

I can tell I'm glaring at her, and I'd like to feel bad, but I can't spare any sympathy for her when I need it all for me. "Damn right it does. But since I don't have a better explanation for this, I'm clearly not in a position to argue with you." I glance around, my gaze catching on the baby in her arms before sliding away again.

"You said something about the doors," I remind her. "Tell me more." If she's somehow right and I have gotten away from Panem, there's no chance I'll be going back if there's anything I can do to avoid it.

[themadgirl]

For all of his faults, there was one thing Annie had to appreciate about Haymitch: He was practical. He could stand there right in front of her and agree that her explanation sounded insane, but that didn't stop him from getting the information he needed most. It was the same information they all needed most: How to avoid going back home.

"The doors in this place are... weird," Annie tried, knowing this was a very weak approximation of the reality. "You never know where they lead. Could be to the next room ninety-nine times, and then the hundredth you end up in another world. Or back home. I don't know if it's magic or science that does it, but just watch out."

She peered at him a moment, wondering if any of this was really getting through. "This is Tristan," she added, hefting the baby higher on her hip. For his part, Tristan simply watched Haymitch with wide and wary sea green eyes. "Finnick's son," Annie pointedly added, in the event that wasn't clear.

[makestheplans]

I snort a laugh. "No shit. I'm a drunk, honey, not an idiot." With that face, those eyes, there's no one else whose kid he could be. But I can tell the glare I throw her now is more fond than it isn't, before the kid grabs my attention again, waving a fist at me. He's fat, the way babies should be; it's a fair bet he's never gone without a meal. We stare at each other for a while before I snap myself out of it, meeting her eyes again.

"So the bottom line is, look before you leap. Think I can remember that much." I hope I can. It's a reason to keep myself on this side of blacked-out drunk, at least.

But speaking of.

"I sure hope there's a bar in this fancy place," I say with a grin. Katniss's terror, the rage-mask of Peeta's face, all seem a little further away now, a little distant. But not nearly distant enough; to get the sound of her screams out of my head, I'm going to need some liquid assistance, the sooner the better.