knowing your life was my life's best part

[roartonrisen]

It's so quiet, when he stands out here staring into the oblivion of space. If he still had a heartbeat, if he were still alive and his heart could race against his chest, it'd be all Kieren could hear. One moment, he'd been at the surgery and now he's ... here. Wherever here is supposed to be.

After everything that's happened today, it expands and stifles him at once. There's still bloody black bile on his chin that Simon hadn't managed to wipe away after the Blue Oblivion and there's blood on his hands. It's not black, either, it's red and it's Amy's. There's so much that Kieren doesn't understand, Exhausted, he's grateful that he's had his shot of neurotryptiline because if he'd found himself in this vast unknowing hotel with the danger of going rabid again, he doesn't know if he could fight it off twice.

His hand shakes as he pushes his hair off his forehead. Or maybe it doesn't shake and maybe Kieren is just associating past behaviour with the things he's feeling right now. He might not have a beating heart, but the grief that's seized him like a monstrous thing clawing at him feels as if it can break him.

So walking through the front door of the surgery and losing Simon somewhere behind him? Finding himself wandering out of a massive hotel the likes of which Kieren has never stayed in before? Yeah, that's new.

He'd stopped at the desk to ask if they were PDS-friendly, but the concierge had stared at him first as if he'd gone mad, and then he'd taken a longer look at Kieren's mousse-less face, his contact-less eyes, and had recoiled like most living people tend to do. Before she could even answer, Kieren had excused himself and managed to get outside, where he'd found all of space waiting for him, as if Roarton hadn't been mad enough and he needed to be in some parallel Doctor Who-like universe.

Eventually, Kieren can't walk any further and sinks down onto a waiting bench near one of the gardens, thinking that he's going to have to find flowers for Amy. He's going to have to find the biggest, brightest, most moregeous flowers in the world and litter the cemetary with them. Weary and exhausted, Kieren stares out into space and wonders when it is that he's going to stop getting his friends back only to lose them again.

The sound of footsteps draws him from his thoughts, because if the front desk had reacted the way she had, Kieren's senses are all on alert, not sure where he is, and definitely not sure how they react to PDS sufferers. The last thing he needs is to have made it through today only to find himself at the end of a sharp stick or a gun. Pre-emptively, he holds up his hands, trying to control the situation. "I come in peace?" he ventures warily, not sure if that's bound to help him or get him even more scorn.

Kieren currently looks as he does in the image here. Kieren is technically a zombie, so there is some information in this link regarding his appearance.

Comments

[roartonrisen]

"It's my condition," he says, trying to tamp down the irritation at having to explain himself. She's not from anywhere around here, which means it's not her fault she doesn't know. "Have to take my neuotriptalyne every twenty-four hours or else things turn...rabid."

[nebaritralk]

"Rabid," Chiana echoes, and takes a cautious step back, eying him with new wariness. He seemed harmless enough, until now, but she's met her share of creatures able to turn on a dime. "Things - or you?"

[roartonrisen]

Kieren turns, just enough to let the black edges of the hole show to the woman. "This is where I have to put in the medication," he says, slightly resigned and quiet as he rubs his fingers over the edges. "Once every twenty-four hours. If not, I go back to my untreated state. That's rabid."

And given that it's only been hours since the last incident, he's not keen to repeat it.

[nebaritralk]

Chiana wants to touch, too, but she holds herself back, because there's that whole issue of him potentially turning rabid. "When did you last take your meds?" she asks, curling fingers and tilting her head the other way.

[roartonrisen]

"Two hours back," Kieren says wearily, given that they'd pumped a shot into him as soon as it had all ended. He knows he's got some time, but he's learned too quickly what happens when all that time bleeds away before you realize it. "I wish Simon were here," he admits ruefully. "Maybe he could've given me some of the homemade stuff."

[nebaritralk]

Right. Should be safe enough, for now. "Who's Simon?" she asks as she relaxes a little, but doesn't step back any closer.

[roartonrisen]

Kieren gives a quiet chuffed sound, bowing his head down. "My boyfriend? I suppose?" He's not entirely sure Simon would appreciate the label, but he's met Kieren's parents and saved his life from the prejudiced townfolk. Kieren's fairly sure 'boyfriend' comes after those steps. "When I first met him, though, he was just my friend's friend."

He tries, so hard, not to think of Amy. Best Dead Friend Forever, except not so much with the 'forever' part, now.

[nebaritralk]

"And he's got what you need," Chiana checks, because that bit matters more to her than what Kieren and Simon get up to between the sheets. If Kieren's stuck here like her, she doesn't want to be around when the clock hand hits the 24 hour mark.

[roartonrisen]

"I don't exactly know what it is, but he managed to make homegrown neurotryptaline," he says, shaking his head as he wonders exactly how many miracles the disciples had worked just to keep away from the government. "Anything would do, though I'd prefer the NT-Plus," he admits. Hand shaking, Kieren presses it to his back to hide the movement.

[nebaritralk]

That means nothing to Chiana, of course; all she cares about is that she isn't around if he ends up going rabid. Of course, she'd prefer he didn't go rabid at all. She likes him, and completely owns up to her bias on account of the way he looks. "We can try the greenhouse." Homegrown; that sounds like a plant of some sort, and maybe it'll be there.

[roartonrisen]

"I wouldn't know where to start," he admits, trying not to sound too pessimistic and hopeless about it. He's trying to be more positive and sadding around won't do much. "I'm an artist," he says. "And occasionally, a barkeep. Not exactly the sorts of things that lead you to know drugs."

[nebaritralk]

"Isn't it?" Chiana asks. Humans are so weird; and he's human enough in spirit, or so it seems to her. Never mind that in his position, she'd make certain to know the kind of drug she needed to keep herself in check. "Then you should start walking through doors, now, and hope you find the one back home in time."

[roartonrisen]

"I'm sorry, doors?" Kieren echoes, trying to get a hold of himself before he snaps. It's been a long and trying day and normally, Kier really tries to be much more patient, but after Gary, after Amy, after everyone and their everything, he's just not ready to put up with this level of cryptic. "What do you mean, doors?"

[nebaritralk]

"Doors," Chiana confirms, with a tilt-and-nod of her head that is nothing like human body language. "Like the one that brought you here. The hotel's full of them - they take you all kinds of places."

[roartonrisen]

"All the doors here?" Kieren echoes, trying to breathe in without wanting to panic, but the trouble with not needing to breathe is that sometimes you do it without thinking about it and it looks rather idiotic. "Where do they go?"

[nebaritralk]

"Everywhere, everywhen?" Chiana answers. "Some are just normal. Some aren't. They shift around, too." She's been oscillating between eager for the next adventure and tired of the constant unpredictability of this place. "No way to know where you'll end up, but far too many of them lead to one Earth or another."

Then again, the hotel population is mostly Earthen.

[roartonrisen]

For Kieren, this should be a worrisome thing. Doors shouldn't be shifting around like that, but then, Kieren had also thought that once he'd died, he'd just stay that way. None of this rising from the grave thing. So maybe he shouldn't be so quick to dismiss the possibility of a door doing this thing. "How do you manage? Can't you stick a label on the door so people know to be cautious?"

[nebaritralk]

"They shift around," Chiana repeats with one of her non-human shrugs, the sort that involves more of her upper body. She just hopes the hotel will be nicer to him than to her; if he's stuck without a way back to his world, the consequences will be a lot more serious. Rabid, like he says. She likes him, doesn't wanna have to kill him.

[roartonrisen]

"What about 'warning, previously there's been a door portal'," Kieren suggests, shaking his head as he tries to get rid of the fact that he sounds as ridiculous as he does. Honestly, it's a bit much to take in and trying to apply logic is a long shot, at this point.

[nebaritralk]

"It'd be on every door," Chiana spells it out for him. She really hopes he's going to take her advice and start trying to get home now, but before he does, there's one thing she'd like to know. "What's your name, anyway? I'm Chiana."

[roartonrisen]

"Kieren Walker," he introduces himself, starting to sag when it comes to the weariness of the situation. "This is definitely beyond the pale of anything in my life and that includes rising out of the grave," he says, which might sound a bit suddenly strange, but it's his life, his prioritizing.

[nebaritralk]

"Could be worse," Chiana retorts pragmatically; it can always be worse. She's known 'worse' on a regular basis since she took off from Nebari Prime; the only annoying thing here is being cut off from her world. From Nerri. She eyes the not-quite human in front of her, hesitating, then asks, "You gonna be alright, Kieren Walker?"

[roartonrisen]

"If I can find a way back home," he says, which is a fairly big if to ask. "If not, I might need someone who doesn't really have many moral qualms to lock me somewhere, sedate me, and find Simon Monroe." Normally, he'd suggest Amy, but Amy's not around for him any longer.

[nebaritralk]

"I've never been known for my moral qualms," Chiana sort of offers, shifting from one foot to the next. She'd lock him up in a heartbeat, sedated or not. She'd kill him if she had to, despite liking him. "But I wouldn't know where to start looking for your Simon."