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all_inclusive2014-06-04 08:01 am
tenthlife) wrote in all_inclusive2014-06-04 08:01 am
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After another night spent asleep on the sand, I thought it might be a better idea to go to the Compound for a shower before heading back to the empty hut filled with memories of the sister I'd lost. Again. I wanted to be happy for the time we'd been able to spend together on the island - time to get to know each other face to face rather than consciousness to consciousness. Maybe someday I'd find that feeling. Now, though, there was too much sadness and loss mixed in to find anything positive. There was a part of me that longed for other lives long past where emotion, if it existed, was more muted. I hadn't had any at all as a flower, or a bat. Existence had been very simple there.
But I also remembered how unfulfilling it had been and how, as my host's life-term had neared, I knew I wouldn't be remaining on those planets but moving on again. Then I'd found out about Earth while rooted to the sea forest on the water planet and knew I'd be going there. Here. Little had I known then just what I was in for on Earth. I had mobility again, something I missed more than I'd realized, but emotions as well. I remembered them from the Mists planet and wanted to experience them again. Little did I realize at the time just how much...more human emotions could be. They were overwhelming to my new life at first, even discounting Melanie's manipulation of them at first.
It was strange, I knew, that the very emotions I'd come for had been the reason I'd nearly left my host body behind and gone to another body, or another planet. I wondered, as I walked towards the Compound, if my life wouldn't have been simpler if I'd done just that. It would have been. No fear, no anger, no sadness. Just a peaceful existence on Earth like the rest of the Souls. Fulfilling my calling as a teacher at the University, doing my part of help with the upkeep of the community, living out my host's short century life term before moving on yet again.
Yes, it would have been simpler. I would have missed out, though, on what it truly was to be human. And though the sadness still choked me at times, I could find happiness that I hadn't skipped. That I'd stayed and seen far more than the other Souls on Earth ever would.
With that in mind, I pulled open the door to the showers, stepped through...and stopped.
The air was different. Cool, dry. Not dry like the desert, dry like the buildings I'd been in on raids. Everything else was different, too. The furnishings, the carpet, all of it. I'd never seen anything like this on the island. I thought, for a moment, that whatever force changed things here might be behind the new area, so I tried to go back out the door I'd just opened. It didn't open, the doorknob didn't turn so much as a fraction in either direction.
I shrank back against it and looked around. Was I back in my own time again? I didn't think I'd ever been in a place like this - not before I ran away, not on any of the supply raids with the humans. Pet's fragile heart pounded in my chest and I had to work to control my breathing.
I heard the sound of someone approaching and looked around wildly, thinking of nothing but hiding until I could discover where I was. Or who was here. I found nothing but a small decorative table that had no chance of concealing me. Resigned, I did the best I could.
"Excuse me," I said, my voice softer than usual but still carrying. "Could you tell me where I am?"
But I also remembered how unfulfilling it had been and how, as my host's life-term had neared, I knew I wouldn't be remaining on those planets but moving on again. Then I'd found out about Earth while rooted to the sea forest on the water planet and knew I'd be going there. Here. Little had I known then just what I was in for on Earth. I had mobility again, something I missed more than I'd realized, but emotions as well. I remembered them from the Mists planet and wanted to experience them again. Little did I realize at the time just how much...more human emotions could be. They were overwhelming to my new life at first, even discounting Melanie's manipulation of them at first.
It was strange, I knew, that the very emotions I'd come for had been the reason I'd nearly left my host body behind and gone to another body, or another planet. I wondered, as I walked towards the Compound, if my life wouldn't have been simpler if I'd done just that. It would have been. No fear, no anger, no sadness. Just a peaceful existence on Earth like the rest of the Souls. Fulfilling my calling as a teacher at the University, doing my part of help with the upkeep of the community, living out my host's short century life term before moving on yet again.
Yes, it would have been simpler. I would have missed out, though, on what it truly was to be human. And though the sadness still choked me at times, I could find happiness that I hadn't skipped. That I'd stayed and seen far more than the other Souls on Earth ever would.
With that in mind, I pulled open the door to the showers, stepped through...and stopped.
The air was different. Cool, dry. Not dry like the desert, dry like the buildings I'd been in on raids. Everything else was different, too. The furnishings, the carpet, all of it. I'd never seen anything like this on the island. I thought, for a moment, that whatever force changed things here might be behind the new area, so I tried to go back out the door I'd just opened. It didn't open, the doorknob didn't turn so much as a fraction in either direction.
I shrank back against it and looked around. Was I back in my own time again? I didn't think I'd ever been in a place like this - not before I ran away, not on any of the supply raids with the humans. Pet's fragile heart pounded in my chest and I had to work to control my breathing.
I heard the sound of someone approaching and looked around wildly, thinking of nothing but hiding until I could discover where I was. Or who was here. I found nothing but a small decorative table that had no chance of concealing me. Resigned, I did the best I could.
"Excuse me," I said, my voice softer than usual but still carrying. "Could you tell me where I am?"