"If you have friends here, it's the best way, anyway," Joan said. "Support networks are important, especially for new mothers."

As soon as she said that, though, she winced, and smiled apologetically. "If I ever start to sound too much like a know-it-all, just tell me," she said. "I used to live with people and help them get back on their feet, so I've got an itch to counsel people all the time."