Raleigh Becket (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rangerbecket) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
all_inclusive2013-11-17 02:32 pm
rangerbecket) wrote in all_inclusive2013-11-17 02:32 pm
(no subject)
When he sleeps, he remembers.
It’s been five years since Raleigh lost Yancy and he still wakes up sometimes in the middle of the night (or afternoon, as it was just a nap this time and not overnight) thinking his brother should be there, that they should be cutting up and finishing each others’ sentences and suiting up to go fight kaiju. Instead, there’s an empty hole where Yancy used to be and Raleigh’s not sure that it’s ever going to be filled in again and, more importantly, Raleigh’s not sure he wants it to be. As fucked up as it is, this is the only time he gets to see and hear Yancy anymore and he clings to it even if it’s probably not the healthiest choice.
It seems to help to have a purpose to fill his days besides welding on the wall. He’s glad Pentecost roped him back into being a Ranger even if he’d been against it at first because at least he’s fighting for something instead of just fighting so he doesn’t have to feel anything.
The hotel is a frustrating stumbling block in that process because while he’s here, he gets lulled into thinking it’s safe. There’s plenty to eat; Raleigh spent his whole first day gorging himself on meat and bread and shit that they just can’t get back home with all the rationing. There’s no televisions blaring about the latest kaiju attack, about people dying painful deaths from Kaiju Blue, about the military arguing whether or not Jaegers are worth the hassle when they can just build a wall to keep them out. The hotel is a bubble, safe, and Raleigh has to constantly remind himself that this is temporary. This isn’t something he can let himself get used to.
He’s pretty sure he’s not going to go back to sleep any time soon so he ends up pulling on a shirt and sliding into his boots, wandering without a purpose. There’s dozens and dozens of rooms in this place and he’s pretty sure he’ll never explore them all. He winds up in a room with a couple pool tables and thinks maybe this is a decent way to pass the time until the memories of Yancy fade a little.
He racks the balls and pulls out a cue, thoughtfully chalking the tip while he tries to decide how he wants to play, which angles to hit. This had always been a fun exercise with Yancy and had almost always ended in a draw; when you Drift as much as he did with his brother, you almost start sharing thoughts outside it. Raleigh nods at the person closest to him, asking if they want to start a game.
“I call stripes. Ten, corner pocket.”
It’s a welcome distraction.
It’s been five years since Raleigh lost Yancy and he still wakes up sometimes in the middle of the night (or afternoon, as it was just a nap this time and not overnight) thinking his brother should be there, that they should be cutting up and finishing each others’ sentences and suiting up to go fight kaiju. Instead, there’s an empty hole where Yancy used to be and Raleigh’s not sure that it’s ever going to be filled in again and, more importantly, Raleigh’s not sure he wants it to be. As fucked up as it is, this is the only time he gets to see and hear Yancy anymore and he clings to it even if it’s probably not the healthiest choice.
It seems to help to have a purpose to fill his days besides welding on the wall. He’s glad Pentecost roped him back into being a Ranger even if he’d been against it at first because at least he’s fighting for something instead of just fighting so he doesn’t have to feel anything.
The hotel is a frustrating stumbling block in that process because while he’s here, he gets lulled into thinking it’s safe. There’s plenty to eat; Raleigh spent his whole first day gorging himself on meat and bread and shit that they just can’t get back home with all the rationing. There’s no televisions blaring about the latest kaiju attack, about people dying painful deaths from Kaiju Blue, about the military arguing whether or not Jaegers are worth the hassle when they can just build a wall to keep them out. The hotel is a bubble, safe, and Raleigh has to constantly remind himself that this is temporary. This isn’t something he can let himself get used to.
He’s pretty sure he’s not going to go back to sleep any time soon so he ends up pulling on a shirt and sliding into his boots, wandering without a purpose. There’s dozens and dozens of rooms in this place and he’s pretty sure he’ll never explore them all. He winds up in a room with a couple pool tables and thinks maybe this is a decent way to pass the time until the memories of Yancy fade a little.
He racks the balls and pulls out a cue, thoughtfully chalking the tip while he tries to decide how he wants to play, which angles to hit. This had always been a fun exercise with Yancy and had almost always ended in a draw; when you Drift as much as he did with his brother, you almost start sharing thoughts outside it. Raleigh nods at the person closest to him, asking if they want to start a game.
“I call stripes. Ten, corner pocket.”
It’s a welcome distraction.